Chaos Before We Left the Driveway: A Roadtrip Story

I love travelling. There’s nothing like it. Be it the sense of finding something new or experiencing the exotic, travelling has always been if not my number one but on the list of top ten things I love to do best. And let’s not forget that travel stories are a pot of humor waiting to explode. So let me introduce you to our guest author today, Archie Ward who has written a hilarious piece about… well, I will just wait and let you find out on your own. Continue Archie…

So, last summer my family and I went on a road trip from our home in Seattle, WA to visit my uncle in Wyoming. I knew that this was a bad idea, especially for my family, but I had to go.

I sucked it up as we all piled in the minivan that we had gotten at a place called ‘Car Hire’ that bright summer morning, and readied myself for the impending disaster that I knew would arise shortly.

My dad hopped into the driver’s seat, wearing his usual super embarrassing get up which was made up of an oversized pair of tan slacks and a ridiculous floral button up, along with a very bright and clashing tie. I groaned as I sunk down in my seat, subconsciously hiding from someone who might recognize me and see my father for the dweeb he was.

My mother, a plump, bumbling woman who seemingly always had about a million things to do yet never seemed to get anything done, climbed into the passenger seat, stuffing her oversized tote in the backseat, almost crushing me with it as she blindly forced it at my feet.

My little brother, who had a very uncomfortable obsession with bugs, climbed into the seat next to me, with a little plastic container in his hands. “You didn’t bring a bug in here, did you?” I asked, knowing the answer already.

He held the container up to my face and showed me the large, fuzzy caterpillar wiggling inside. I shrieked, and pushed it away.

I then curled up on my side of the car, sighing as I began to dread the trip. Last to arrive in the car hire minivan was our dog, Rufus. The lab mix had no reservations about plundering his large self obnoxiously around the car until he found his seat.

As he shoved around and stepped on both me and my brother, he knocked the plastic container out of my brother’s hands. My heart stopped, being super afraid of bugs, as I watched the container fly into the air in slow motion.

It seemed like the entire car gasped in unison, and then started screaming as it came back down onto my brother’s lap, exploding open and freeing the furry caterpillar inside.

I shrieked as it wiggled its way towards me in the chaos, shouting at someone to get that creepy bug the heck away from me. My mom was screeching just like me, and my dad was yelling at us to calm down.

My brother had been in shock from the sudden chaos, and had let it get way to close to me. He tried to reach for the bug, but Rufus was attempting to try out the ‘lap dog’ idea on my brother’s little self, and he was successfully squishing him.

I huddled up against the window of the minivan, suddenly hating whoever it was who went to Car Hire and got the only car without a door on both sides. I was scared of the horrifying little creature that seemed to be out to get me as it made its way towards me across the seat.

My brother had been desperately trying to push the giant dog off of him, and in doing so had alerted the dog of the creepy, fuzzy creature on the seat.

With one smooth motion, the dog swooped down and ate the caterpillar in one gulp. The whole car froze in a sudden silence as we comprehended what just happened.

I relaxed, and patted the dog on his head, “Good Rufus.” I met the horrified eyes of my little brother, than the shocked eyes of my mother, and then the confused eyes of my father, and then we all burst out laughing at the ridiculous situation we had gotten ourselves into before we had even left the driveway.

I sat back in my seat as we headed down the road, thinking that this trip might be fun after all.

About the Author:-

This road story is courtesy of the people at Skedaddle, if you would like some sound advice (or maybe some funny advice) on how to plan your next road trip, check out their website.

 

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