How to Steal an Umbrella And NOT Get Away With It

Step 1: Get dressed for a party at a time that would make you “fashionably” late.

Step 2: Suddenly realize that you are super late.

Step 3: Go herd all your other “fashionably” late friends and proceed towards the main gate of the hostel.

Step 4: Realize that it’s raining and you have left your umbrella in your room, which is on the third floor of a hostel that has no lift.

Step 5: Consider the possibility of borrowing an umbrella from a friend living on the first floor and reject it. And instead decide to go ahead with the idea of nicking one of the innocent umbrellas sitting in the corridor. (Since its raining the corridor now has umbrella troops guarding the doors, with or without an occasional cat sentinel taking refuge under one of these monstrosities.)

Step 6: Triumphantly show your spoils to your friends once you are on the way to the party (which is at a walkable distance away).

Step 7: Feel guilty about the theft and promise yourself to return the umbrella once you return.

Step 8: Party hard and indulgence in all sorts of hooliganisms.

Step 9: Party over. Proceed towards the hostel before curfew locks you out.

Step 10: Once you have reached the hostel have a concerned friend ask the loud-mouth of the group to remind you to return the stolen umbrella while everyone is climbing the stairs.

Step 11: Have the loud mouth shout the specifics in a way that alerts the entire hostel (and the cats!). (That loud mouth was me, by the way.)

Step 12: Unfortunately have the owner of the umbrella lurking nearby when your loud mouth friend was busy laughing her head off and spouting off details she shouldn’t be shouting out.

Step 13: Have the owner’s friend confront you about the umbrella. The exact lines being, “Is this umbrella yours?”

Step 14: Freak out and reply, “Yes.”

Step 15: Have the other girl say, “My friend has a similar umbrella so I asked.” (As if there aren’t a hundred similar umbrellas prowling the town at the time.)

Step 16: Get scared real bad and say, “Actually it isn’t mine. A friend got it for me so I think it might be yours.” And return the umbrella.

Step 17: Don’t apologize immediately and try to justify your thievery while the owner fumes in her head.

Step 18: Later come to know that the owner has blasted your friends living on the same floor thinking one of them stole it for you.

Step 19: Get into a big controversy. Fight with the loud mouth friend (who incidentally felt so bad about ratting you out that she apologized thrice). And then go to bed.

Step 20: Apologize to the owner of the umbrella over text the next day and settle things.


Step 21: Steal another umbrella from the classroom the next day because it was raining hard and you don’t have an umbrella again.

That’s exactly what happens in my life nowadays (I gotta do something about my loud mouthiness).

Has anything of this kind happened to you or your friend? Maybe an embarrassing tale of another kind? I would love to hear from you (but not the friend whose embarrassing tale I just told).

So that’s it for today. Come back tomorrow for Inspire Me and who knows you just might get inspired in return!

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