How to Turn Your Enemy Into a Toad

For those of you who aren’t aware, I am an occasional poet when the urge strikes me. And usually such poems are hilarious and a little wonky in nature.

So gather round, for today I am going to share a rather simple, and straightforward poem. It struck me a few days back when I was contemplating why witches turned people into toads and frogs. So here it goes:-

(Disclaimer: Don’t try it at home. The authorities might send you packing to the psych ward in a mental hospital. And keep away from children who might want to use this for extracting revenge on school-yard bullies.) 

If beat at blackjack,

Or spurned in love,

Or stabbed in the back

With the knife of Dove,

Hang back and watch,

As I deal out to thee,

The perfect solution,

For your misery.


The potion to turn,

Thy enemy into a toad,

To beat it black and blue,

Or just to gloat.


A pewter cauldron,

Black inside out,

Will be required,

To begin with a shout.


Next comes salamander’s blood,

But don’t be afraid,

Only two pints must be obtained,

From the black market trade.

Add three bat wings,

Broken would be best,

And five toenails of a lunatic,

Clipped to the test.

Then throw in the spleen,

Of a diseased racoon quick,

And allow the potion to stew,

Two days would do the trick.


Once the brew has been stewed,

For two days straight,

Add a few more lovelies,

Filled with hate.


Forty grains of sand,

Stolen from a crab’s hole,

And ten whiskers of a muskrat,

Don’t steal from a mole.

At last add fifteen beetles,

Living beneath a Yew tree,

Their exoskeletons must be polished,

If you want good luck for free.


Then  brew it and stew it,

For twelve days more,

Under the light of the moon,

And hatred in your core.


But before I forget,

In the end you must add,

One last ingredient,

To prove you are mad.


The teardrop of a mermaid,

Harvested at high tide,

Her scales should glitter silver,

No matter how well she hides.

And her hair should be black,

Like your soul and your heart,

Because for this potion to work,

You must play your part.


So find this mermaid quick,

For the broth won’t last,

And your enemy will roam free,

If your spell isn’t cast.

So how was it? Average? Pretty good? Excellent? Or just a… bleh? Do share your thoughts in the comment’s section below. I really love hearing from you.

And if you want to read another classic masterpiece (poem) written by yours truly then head over here and try it out. It is called Letter to Fear.

P.S. If you like Spyglassviewer or love my writing style then don’t forget to subscribe to the blog’s email list or the RSS feed. And do share the post if you found it even relatively interesting.

Till the next time. Have fun! 😀


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