Aerial Invasion

“Code 202, assemble fleet in dock 36 and prepare to attack!”

“S.O.S! Call the commander! Incoming unidentified missile from enemy frontlines, send out spybots.”

Chaos reigned supreme as I navigated through the complex underground maze of corridors full of scrambling people, talking rapidly to one another and shouting comments and commands from one end of the place to the other. The fast clicking sounds of numerous fingers typing away on keyboards at lightning speed, the jarring alarms still ringing through the air and the puffing and panting of the worked up workers gave new definition to uncoordinated.

I sighed and pulled out my whistle. Subsequently a shrill, ear-splitting tune pierced through the air and maybe a few eardrums. All activities stopped at once.

It never failed to amaze me how an inconsequential object like a whistle could stop people in their tracks when a louder alarm was filling the air with its freaked out voice. Maybe it was because the whistle brought a different tune to the desensitized ears of the harried people.

“Okay, cadets. Stop freaking out! Fleet coordinators continue with your task. Spymasters what is the situation?”

I strode to the control panel where five extremely stressed out men stood fidgeting in their pants and kept throwing glances at the screens flickering behind them. As soon as I reached them they started to talk all at once, which I had known they would do.

Raising a hand to silence the oncoming string of overlapping nonsense I asked the least harried officer, “Status.”

The man pointed towards one of the screens and started to relay first sighting coordinates and other details. But I tuned it out soon when I realized something. On the screen was visible a carpet of dry brown grass and coming towards us was a hovering orange ball. An orange ball I had seen before.

“Holy mother of God, it is a Furball 360!”…

Unlike the Dreamcatcher, Aerial Invasion can’t stand alone without contribution from readers. So put a spin to this out-of-the-world story about Furballs and leave your bit as comment below with your name and website. The most creative and hilarious piece will be updated into the post with due credit by the end of 12.11.2011.

-Ria 

This week’s winner of Picture Worth a Thousand Words is my blogger friend Daniel Nest. Congratulations for writing such a witty and humorous conclusion to Aerial Invasion.

 

This furry menace was painfully familiar. I remembered what it had done to Ratoshima and Ratosaki decades earlier. Immediately, I knew that the most drastic of measures had to be taken without any hesitation. I turned to the least fidgety cadet and yelled:

“I need you to locate and contact Doggen McWoofenstein, ASAP!”

“Sir, I’m sure you don’t mean…”

“I gave you a direct order, cadet, now do it!”

Doggen McWoofenstein had been retired for years, after being shamefully discharged and stripped of his ranks. He was a hopeless drinker and a disgrace to the force. He had trouble with authority and always ignored orders. But dammit, he was the best pilot I’d ever known, and right now he was our only hope.

“Sir, Doggen McWoofenstein is on the line, do you want to…”

“Yes, of course I want to speak with him! Why else would I have asked you to find him?!”, sometimes it seemed these cadets refused to use at least a fraction of their brains. Or maybe I was being impatient and unreasonable, but every second counted. I yanked the phone from Cadet Stupid and without unnecessary formalities got straight to the point:

“Look, Doggen, I know we haven’t parted on the best of terms, but right now I really need your help!”

“I’m listening”, Doggen was no fool. He knew it had to be serious for me to contact him, so he didn’t waste time. I briefly summed up the situation, but before I could request his assistance in shooting down the FB360 he interrupted with:

“Your problem is a measly Furball 360? That’s obsolete technology by now! You should be able to divert it with a simple Mouse Decoy Probe.”

“Mouse De-what-now?”

“MDP. Every station is equipped with them! You knew this, of course, didn’t you?!”, he was back to mocking me again, just like the good old days.

“I…err…of course I knew this! I just thought I’d…yes, I knew it very well…”, I wasn’t sure I was making a convincing case. My awkward and incoherent explanation would have probably continued for a while longer. However, McWoofenstein took matters into his own paws and firmly suggested I give him direct control of the station.

Minutes later we were all watching with relief as FB360 chased Mouse Decoy Probe into the horizon. Such a simple solution, these MDPs, why had I not heard about them before?

To read more of Daniel’s work, which believe me is really hilarious, head over to his blog at http://www.nest-expressed.com/.

And stay tuned for the next Picture Worth a Thousand Words this Wednesday. Have a wonderful week!

-Ria

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9 thoughts on “Aerial Invasion

  1. “What do we do now Capitan? Will we be incurring the wrath of any animal rights groups if we zap it?” I asked.
    “Good thinking. Anybody has the number for ASPCA or PETA on speed dial?” The Captain asked.
    “I’m already on it” says the guy next to me. Thirty seconds later he hangs up the phone with glum look on his face.
    “What’s the word?” Captain asks in a terse voice.
    “We’re still at am impasse. I called both numbers and got the automated phone tree…seems this damn furball chose to show up outside their office hours.”
    “WTF!?!” I blurted out to match the Captain’s look of disgust and horror.
    “Got any more bright ideas?”asked the Captain once the color came back into his face 30 seconds later.
    “You kidding me!?” I said incredulously. “It’s not my fault these animal activists keep nocturnal hours for business hours. You’re the captain and getting paid like it too…you figure it out.” (that’s all I got)

    • Congrats for being the first ever participant in Picture Worth a Thousand Words. And thank you for your enthusiastic response. PETA does seem to always be a little late for everything…but never when it comes to bringing out banners and hooting out slogans.

  2. This furry menace was painfully familiar. I remembered what it had done to Ratoshima and Ratosaki decades earlier. Immediately, I knew that the most drastic of measures had to be taken without any hesitation. I turned to the least fidgety cadet and yelled:

    “I need you to locate and contact Doggen McWoofenstein, ASAP!”

    “Sir, I’m sure you don’t mean…”

    “I gave you a direct order, cadet, now do it!”

    Doggen McWoofenstein had been retired for years, after being shamefully discharged and stripped of his ranks. He was a hopeless drinker and a disgrace to the force. He had trouble with authority and always ignored orders. But dammit, he was the best pilot I’d ever known, and right now he was our only hope.

    “Sir, Doggen McWoofenstein is on the line, do you want to…”

    “Yes, of course I want to speak with him! Why else would I have asked you to find him?!”, sometimes it seemed these cadets refused to use at least a fraction of their brains. Or maybe I was being impatient and unreasonable, but every second counted. I yanked the phone from Cadet Stupid and without unnecessary formalities got straight to the point:

    “Look, Doggen, I know we haven’t parted on the best of terms, but right now I really need your help!”

    “I’m listening”, Doggen was no fool. He knew it had to be serious for me to contact him, so he didn’t waste time. I briefly summed up the situation, but before I could request his assistance in shooting down the FB360 he interrupted with:

    “Your problem is a measly Furball 360? That’s obsolete technology by now! You should be able to divert it with a simple Mouse Decoy Probe.”

    “Mouse De-what-now?”

    “MDP. Every station is equipped with them! You knew this, of course, didn’t you?!”, he was back to mocking me again, just like the good old days.

    “I…err…of course I knew this! I just thought I’d…yes, I knew it very well…”, I wasn’t sure I was making a convicing case. My awkward and incoherent explanation would have probably continued for a while longer. However, McWoofenstein took matters into his own paws and firmly suggested I give him direct control of the station.

    Minutes later we were all watching with relief as FB360 chased Mouse Decoy Probe into the horizon. Such a simple solution, these MDPs, why had I not heard about them before?

      • Glad you liked it, even though it was almost like “free association writing” and a bit rushed ;)…these are fun projects, you should keep them up!

      • Rushed or not it was well written and that’s all that matters. And I am glad you like the concept. 🙂
        If you have any photograph on mind that can work as the next Picture Worth a Thousand Words feel free to post in on my FB wall.

  3. Pingback: “Aerial Invasion” (blogger collab) » Nest Expressed

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