Teacher Trumpets: The Air Kisser

It’s amazing how bubbly and inquisitive students on the first day of college turn into morose zombies in a month’s time as if the whole world was resting on their shoulders. And most of the time it’s not because of the subjects but instead the superteachers whose range of powers primarily falls under the category of sleep induction.

One of these very superheroes graced our physiology lecture hours for the last one week. Every day he would sing us a cardiac lullaby and put us promptly to sleep in under fifteen minutes. And every day we would leave the lecture hall as ignorant as we had entered it.

So yesterday I finally decided to go rogue. I planned and brought some pending work with me to class today so that I could secretly complete the task while the droning clogged the senses of the other students.

But did all go according to the plan? Hell no! All week I gathered wool but the day I set out to do something constructive was the day when the teacher had to change. And the change was for the worst; the new teacher turned out to be the Head of the Department of Physiology.

And if that wasn’t enough, he stormed into the class with an arsenal of questions ready at hand and started firing them at random around the class. Somehow I managed to dodge the gunfire but by the time he stopped asking questions I was reduced to a bag of squishy bones with adrenaline swirling inside.

Well, now that I have stated exactly how terrified I am of answering questions in class its time I ripped the man off for all he is worth. So here goes the tale behind the quirky header:-

The H.O.D of the physiology department is a big freak! Every time he asked a question and got blank faces and confused expressions in return, he would say “hmmm” and simultaneously purse his lips so much that it seemed he was practicing the kissing techniques he would use later that night. Ewwww! Ugh!

I mean what is that man’s problem? Is he so deprived of human contact that he has to actually go around displaying his virgin lips so that someone would take pity on him and plant a big one on them? Because that ain’t happening buddy, so go drag your cart elsewhere.   

It was especially puke-worthy when he would drag up some guy by his collar to answer his questions and then make kissy faces at him. Even thinking back on this makes me confused as to whether I should roll on the floor with laughter or gag as if I have fur stuck down my throat. Gosh, what a pervert!

I wish this man had more quirks I could have picked on, but alas there aren’t any worth wasting my scholarly skills over. Therefore, for the first time I will have to stop my rant even before I have begun. My evil-genius self is feeling a little deprived but it can’t be helped; even the best machineguns are useless without enough ammunition to power them.


4 thoughts on “Teacher Trumpets: The Air Kisser

  1. That is a very strange teacher indeed. Kissy faces? I have a lecturer who always has an eyebrow halfway up his forehead but I guess that looks petty now… compared to your kissy teacher. Those quirks really bother people but I tend to overlook them, if the lecturer is nice of course.

    – Ermisenda

  2. Pingback: Teacher Trumpets: Lessons in Velocity | spyglassviewer

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