I have seen many people going around the place acting like they are the king of the microcosm they occupy (which by the way isn’t very big for the major part of the population). But these very people unconsciously give out vibes of neediness and desperation for attention. What they do not understand is that pretending to be someone else just to appear cool doesn’t really make them so, instead it magnifies their insecurities and offers them up on a silver platter to predators.
But why do human beings employ these tactics that usually backfires on them at a later date? It’s because humans are social animals. We need society to survive. Even the ones who say they are better off alone do not really think so deep within. And thus for our own survival in the cement jungle we adopt certain ways that make us more appealing to the cattle community.
Then what is first impression? And why do we usually amp up our performance while meeting new people?
First impression is nothing but the mental, split-second judgement a person makes when they meet strangers. This judgement is influenced by a variety of factors such as, attitude, communication, body language and others. And since we all make these judgements very often in our life, thus we understand its ways and try to do things which will naturally give the person(s) before us a good impression.
But why do we need a good impression? Isn’t it obvious, it’s because every human being wants to be in the spotlight even when they are trying to blend into the crowd. Yes, it stinks of irony but its true.
So then what will happen if we fail to make a good first impression? Answering this is a matter of context. Suppose there is some creepy guy who comes up to you and starts making small talk. Obviously you will make sure that person is so repulsed by you by the end of the talk that he doesn’t ever try to come within three miles of you.
But generally we encounter people who we want to think good about us. And if in such a case we fail to make a good impression then it’s usually followed by long hours of wringing hands and wishing things had gone another way.
But is fretting over this really necessary? No, I don’t think so.
It’s usually children who tend to change their opinion about you if you go ahead and try to improve it in front of them. But adults being adults are less pliable in this matter. But not really as rigid as they might want to think of themselves.
This is because opinions are a matter of context and situation. They are ever evolving. That’s why at times the fiercest enemies become the strongest friends later on in life. That’s not the case always but the principle remains.
Therefore, if you haven’t managed to hit bullseye on the first go, DO NOT make it to be something catastrophic (unless you have blundered during a job interview; Then you are definitely dead). You will have plenty of time to improve your impression if you work towards it. Slacking and denial (as in I don’t care what that person thinks about me even if in my head I do) are the only obstacles in your path.
So live life the way you are. No pretenses required. Because in the end sheer optimism always wins and you end up getting exactly what you want.