Teacher Trumpets: The Return of the Gene King

People never stop amazing me. And sometimes the amazement is not a really nice way of starting your day (even if it is in the afternoon). And believe me when I say that I was so amazed last Tuesday that I was knocked unconscious halfway through it…

If you have followed my previous Teacher Trumpets then you will remember that I mentioned a particularly weird genetics professor at our college. But for those who came late, let’s go down memory lane once more.


On Tuesday, last week, we attended a lecture on genetics by a professor from the Life Sciences Department at our University. The man was so damn weird that I actually thought he was a technician (the ones who fix the microphone and the overhead projector) before he took his place on the podium. And then the mirth began…

What will be the ultimate result if someone dresses up in a pink striped shirt and a pair of trousers pulled up almost to their chin and then talks in unintentional double entendres before a class of bored teens? A laughter riot, what else? And so Mr. I-Have-Forgotten-To-Mention-My-Name-So-You-Can-As-Well-Call-Me-An-Asswipe began his lecture (if that’s what you call it).

The rest of the hour was spent wisely; not a single laugh was wasted, not a comment passed in vain. And so at the end of the hour we left the class feeling very high (what else can you expect if your dirty mind just got a serious exercise?). The added incentive was that the sir had been allotted two lectures and so he was to return someday, someday not so far into the future.

Well now that you know the beginning, let’s get on to the end. Which by the way is not so interesting. So if you wish to stop reading and go and do something more productive, like get a brain, then you are free to do so.

Ahem, sorry for that sarcasm but the real deal begins from here onwards…

On Monday, the next week, we had another lecture scheduled for genetics. And lo and behold, every single student turned up for it. Not a single bench was free. Not a soul left behind. The anticipation for the coming of the Gene King was so high that the situation turned ironic. The professor didn’t turn up at all. Instead a female instructor from the same department came in with her laptop full of slides ready to slide us into the kingdom of deep sleep.

I was beyond furious. I felt cheated. Everyone of us did. And look at the gall of the woman. She had the nerve to actually give us two assignments on top of that disappointment!

By the time that class got over, I was drooling with my eyes open (vibrating eyelids as you try to force AWAKE upon yourself can be a bitch). And when we left the hall we actually poured all our disgruntlement (is that a word) all over the internet (read Facebook).

But nevertheless we didn’t lose hope. We knew that the Nameless Professor would return. And return he did, the very next day for his final lecture on genetics. But did we get our gallon of guffaws and litre of laughter? Hell no!

It was as if the woman from the day before had passed on the Helmet of Snooze and killed the germ of levity in our weird professor. And so we were cheated once more. All hundred of us who had turned up just for him.

I somehow survived the first fifteen minutes into the lecture but finally clonked out like a fused lightbulb. The occurence was so damn surprising that even now I find myself gaping like an idiot whenever I think about it. Gaping with my mouth open so wide that a basketball could fit in.

That day truly saw a phenomenon never seen before; the metamorphosis of a bubbling butterfly back into a slobbering caterpillar!


2 thoughts on “Teacher Trumpets: The Return of the Gene King

  1. Hehehehe sliding into the kingdom of sleep…ain’t that the truth sometimes! Thankfully my university days are over, so now I’ve got a 9 to 5 to help me sleep instead 😉 Nice post!

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